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第11部分（第2页）

We；　of　course；　can’t　do　that。　Our　children　need　us　and　will　continue　to　do　so；　long　after　the　maternal　bond　starts　to　give。

To　love　them　just　as　much　can　be　a　challenge。　But　this　is　where　we　start　to　learn　from　our　young：　lessons　of　patience；　empathy　and　forbearance。

Being　a　mother　is　no　longer　easy。　But　it　does　bring　its　own　rewards。

Once　I　found　myself　in　an　air　emergency。　Before　attempting　to　crash…land；　we　had　to　spend　an　hour　circling　to　burn　up　excess　fuel。

It　was　a　very　long　hour。　The　stranger　in　the　seat　next　to　me　held　my　hand　and　told　me　his　whole　life　was　passing　before　him。

My　own　mind　was　following　a　more　morbid　course；　picturing　my　funeral；　pondering　whether　there　would　be　enough　left　of　me　to　put　in　a　coffin。

Then　another　image　broke　through；　the　agonising　thought　my　unconscious　had　been　fighting　to　suppress：　the　toddler　I　had　left　behind；　the　image　of　him　ing　into　our　bedroom　in　the　morning；　getting　into　his　mother’s　bed　to　start　the　day　with　a　cuddle。

I　saw　him　entering　this　room　day　after　day；　with　a　bed　that　remained　empty；　where　he　would　never　again　feel　his　mother’s　arms　wrapped　around　his　warm　little　body。

It　was　then　that　I　realised　the　terrible　encumbrance　of　parental　love。　How　it　keeps　us　fettered　to　this　life；　held　to　ransom；　so　that　we　can’t　even　die　gracefully；　without　our　hearts　being　broken。

Since　that　day；　I　have　only　one　prayer　for　myself：　that　I　may　live　long　enough　to　see　my　child　able　to　get　on　without　me。

My　only　child　has　just　started　boarding…school。　The　house　is　painfully　empty。　It　was　the　boy　himself　who　wanted　to　go；　backed　up　by　his　father。

I　resisted；　with　rational　arguments　and　less　rational　emotions。　In　the　end　I　confronted　my　husband　and　asked　him　why　he　wanted　to　send　our　son　away　to　school。　“Because　I　believe　it　would　do　him　good；”was　his　straight　answer。

In　the　sleepless　night　that　followed；　I　had　to　admit　that　he　was　right。　By　daybreak　I　had　accepted　that；　whatever　my　own　feelings；　I　had　no　right　to　hold　up　a　process　that　would　assist　my　child　in　his　social　and　academic　development。

And　I　remembered　the　lines　my　mother　wrote　in　a　notebook　the　day　I　left　home　to　study　in　a　foreign　country：

When　you　were　born；

I　said　to　myself；

I　shall　never　again　be　alone。

Little　did　I　realise

that　the　infant　I　cradled　in　my　arms

was　given　to　me　on　loan；

to　care　for　and　prepare

for　the　day　when　I　would　hand　her　over；

to　another　life

that　I　can　share

Motherhood　母性（3）

only　from　a　distance。

‘Something　only　a　mother　could　love。’　The　phrase　conjures　up　images　of　baby　orang…utans；　teenage　hoodlums；　repugnant　monsters。

It　does　suggest　that　a　mother’s　love　is　blind；　oblivious　to　chara…cter　disorders；　to　ugliness　and　failings；　when　in　reality　it　is　the　other　way　round：　maternal　love　is　extraordinarily　perceptive。

When　a　mother　looks　upon　her　children；　she　sees　not　only　what　they　are；　but　also　what　they　may　bee。　In　her　eyes；　potential　exceeds　limitations。

She　is　aware　of　the　best　in　each　one　even　when　it’s　not　apparent。　Her　interpretations　are　kind；　generous　to　a　fault；　always　giving　the　benefit　of　the　doubt。　It　says　a　lot　about　human　nature　that；　more　often　than　not；　she’s　proved　right。

Provided　she　is　no　stranger　to　warm　and　selfless　feelings；　a　mother　will　love　her　children　for　all　that　is　contained　within　them；　or　even；　at　times；　in　spite　of　it；　remaining　constant　even　in　the　worst　scenarios。

When　a　child　has　contrived　to　destroy　anything　in　it　worthy　of　affection；　its　mother；　with　deep　regret；　will　continue　to　love　it；　partly　for　what　it　was；　partly　for　what　it　might　have　been。

At　the　age　of　seventy；　my　mother　was　badly　injured　in　a　motor　accident。　I　was　reached　by　a　message　that　she　was　on　life　support；　both　her　legs　were　to　be　amputated。