多多读书

手机浏览器扫描二维码访问

第12部分（第2页）

It’s　staggering　to　think　that；　even　as　we　speak；　countless　lives　and　relationships　are　being　ruined　by　virulent；　destructive　feelings　generated　by　pure　misconceptions。

Feelings　感觉（3）

If　only　everyone　ensured　that　they　were　properly　informed　before　allowing　a　feeling　to　take　root；　the　world　wouldn’t　be　full　of　fools　barking　up　the　wrong　tree！

The　door…bell　rang。　A　friend　walked　in；　pale　and　shattered。　Dark　rings　under　red…rimmed　eyes；　lips　quivering　from　restrained　emotion。　“She’s

left　me；”　he　whispered；　as　if　expecting　the　words　to　hurt。　“After　fourteen　years　of　an　ideal　marriage；　she’s　upped　and　left　me。”

I　couldn’t　help　thinking　of　his　wife　telling　me　in　confidence　that　the　marriage；　to　her；　was　a　prison：　a　locked　cell；　stifling　and　restrictive；　no　access　to　daylight　or　fresh　air。　“I　shall　have　to　break　out；”　she　had　stated　calmly；　“or　else　go　under。”

“I　love　her；”　he　said　brokenly。　“Since　the　day　we　met；　I’ve　only　lived　for　her。　My　life　was　dedicated　to　her　welfare。　Without　her；　I　have　nothing。”

It　crossed　my　mind　that　this　degree　of　spousal　devotion　seems　to　e　more　naturally　to　men。　I　wonder　if　it　stems　from　an　unconscious　hankering　back　to　the　blessed　state　of　infancy；　when　all　their　require…ments　were　filled　by　a　bountiful　madonna；　who　asked　for　nothing　but　submission　in　return。

“Could　it　be；”　I　ventured　carefully；　in　an　attempt　to　help；　if　not　fort；　“that　your　relationship　has　been　based　on　your　needs　more　than　hers？”

“Not　at　all；”　he　snapped；　offended。　“I　never　had　a　thought　for　myself。　I　gave　her　everything；　each　living　moment。　Body　and　soul；　I　was　all　hers。”　Bewilderment　took　over；　as　he　pondered：　“How　can　any　　woman　walk　away　from　such　devotion？”

I　didn’t　have　the　heart　to　tell　him。　Perhaps　one　day　I　will。

Of　all　emotions；　the　most　dangerous　are　those　we　don’t　know　we　have。　They　are　the　cause　of　rash；　impulsive　acts；　they　drive　us　to　be　erratic；　distort　our　sense　of　judgement。

It’s　natural　enough　to　want　to　close　the　door　on　feelings　that　are　painful　or　unworthy。　But　suppression　has　an　awful　lot　to　answer　for　in　terms　of　devastation。

Does　that　mean　the　other　extreme　is　more　healthy？　Emotions　erupting　at　short　notice；　making　us　scream　and　shout；　laugh　or　cry；　with　little　or　no　restraint？

One　thing　is　certain：　the　more　easily　a　feeling　manifests　itself；　the　more　superficial　it　is。　Using　moods　to　let　off　steam；　indulge　ourselves；　or　even　to　manipulate　others；　is　a　means　to　an　end　not　altogether　honourable。

Emotional　responses　need　not　affect　our　conduct。　Like　spoilt　children；　they　crave　attention；　but　once　we　recognize　them；　they　settle　down；　leaving　us　free　to　accept　them　as　being　there；　somewhere　in　the　background；　though　no　more　important　to　our　life　than　the　twinge　you　register　when　a　needle　pricks　your　finger。

The　purest；　most　sacred　feelings　are　those　we　encounter　deep　inside　ourselves　in　moments　of　solitude　and　peace。　Such　feelings　crave　no　tribute；　answer　to　no　needs。　They　are；　in　themselves；　what　we　consist　of。

Forgiving　an　enemy　is　a　sweet　pleasure。　After　all；　it　is　entirely　in　your　own　interest　to　rise　high　above　your　adversary　in　integrity　and　dignity。　Nothing　crushes　a　person　of　ill　will　like　the　opponent’s　magnanimity。

It’s　different　when　a　loved　one　inflicts　a　wound；　lets　you　down；　tramples　all　over　your　；　play　down　the　transgression；　almost；　you　might　say；　condone　it　–

when　what　you　really　want　is　to　pound　their　guilt；　draw　attention　to　the　crime　for　which　no　remorse　is　sufficient。　Punish　them　for　your　pain；　even　at　the　expense　of　destroying　your　own　self。

Bitterness　is　a　disease；　the　only　cure　forgiveness。　But　not　everyone　is　capable　of　summoning　the　inner　strength　required　for　such　a　feat。

Therefore；　it　is　advisable　to　forestall　situations　that　call　for　these　heroic　deeds；　by　acknowledging　hurt　openly　and　honestly；　at　an　early　stage：　before　the　wound　begins　to　fester。

Another　safety　device　is　for　your　own　part　to　ensure　that　nothing　you　say　or　do　could　bee　a　hot　bed　for　such　dangerous　deep　resentment。

It　is　the　need　for　forgiveness；　as　much　as　the　lack　of　it；　that　kills　relationships。